The Story of a Blanket

Once upon a time, a knitter bought enough wool for a coveted Hemlock Ring Blanket. The postal carrier brought her that wool one day soon after, and immediately the knitter wound up two giant yarn cakes the size of her head - she did this as to avoid weaving in more ends than necessary as she was a very lazy knitter. The right size of circular needles were purchased, and the blanket was cast on quickly after the children were tucked into bed. To the knitter's amazement, this was one of the most enjoyable knits ever! Despite working full-time, parenting two children, and travelling to another country for a week, she finished the blanket in three short weeks. When cast off, the blanket appeared to be a giant blob of wool and was unrecognizable as a blanket. It needed to be severely blocked in the most desperate way. So the blanket went into a drawer. For eight months, the knitter carefully avoided all conversation about said blanket. She laughed off other knitters who OFFERED to block the blanket. And she went about knitting hundreds of other projects so as to forget about her dear Hemlock. It nearly worked. Then one day she found herself in a dark storage cubby at work that she lovingly referred to as "The Panic Room". Rooting for soup bowls and money jars, she came upon an unopened package of giant foam mats. It was then and there that she knew what she had to do. Five o'clock could not come fast enough. As soon as she returned home, she filled up the kitchen sink with a dash of Eucalan and cold water, soaked the blobby blanket, sopped up all the water in a cushy thick towel, and stretched and pinned that blob to those foam mats. Half an hour was all it took. That made the knitter feel a tad sheepish. (Get it? Sheepish?) And the next day when she woke up, she ran down the stairs and ripped out all the pins, and she swirled and twirled until she nearly chuffed about twenty different kinds of happiness! And the blanket and knitter lived happily ever after.

The end.

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