The Good Life

I finally have proof that knitting will indeed be the end of me.

Last night I sat down to dinner all by myself, and I grabbed Barbara Walkers Knitting Treasury to read while I ate. I was completely engrossed with the lace patterns and while eating the first half of my second piece of breaded chicken, I found that I could no longer chew it. I looked down, and the chicken was completely RAW!!

I started gagging and choking and coughing, so I ran to the toilet bowl and heaved and heaved while tears streaked down my face. I was hysterical! I’d like to point out that as this was going on, El continued to do her homework sitting across from me, and B was in the next room watching a cartoon. This makes me think that they think I am such a freak that it is not alarming when I run around the house screaming that I am going to die. Although I tried my best to bring it all up, nothing worked. I, then , calmly walked back to the kitchen, grabbed a couple of bowls and spoons, scooped out mountains of vanilla ice cream and cut up the rest of the chocolate fudge cake, and sat down with the girls to eat dessert. I figured if I had to blow chunks sooner or later, it might as well be sweet.

It’s now been nearly 18 hours, and although I have been stalking the toilet bowl around the clock, I have yet to chuff. I googled salmonella this morning, and I still have plenty of time to fall ill. Until then, I must be calm and carry on as per the dish towel. I may need some Advil soon as my throat has become very sore from all the gagging. Oh dear lord, why me????

I did manage to finish knitting the first Charade sock, and I am in love with it, so I can’t possibly be that sick. It fits beautifully with the exception of a very square toe. I also broke the first rule of grafting – no interruptions! I’m not sure why I thought it would be a swell idea to teach a sock newbie how to graft the toe of her first sock while simultaneously grafting my own. That being said, I did succeed in grafting my toe but with ne’er a nerve in tact.



Katherine said...

Hello again. I'm sorry that happened to you! Uuuuuck. I can see how it would have happened - sucked into that book and all. ; )