Certificate of Completion

Dear T,

I think I stayed up much too late last night reading. Once I get started, it’s very hard for me to stop. Now I am yawning uncontrollably, and my eyes are watering, and I just feel beat. Must get up and get going. Maybe chanting will help. Must get up and get going. Must get up and get going. . .

What good is a stainless steel coffee urn without the frickin’ lid? I can’t seem to find the lid. I was gone for one week, and the coffee will now be served cold forever. It’s worse than when you lose something at home, because you can take your bloody time looking for it without the guilt that someone is paying for the time you are frittering away wastefully. I could send an email to the staff and risk reproach for sending frivolous messages, but I personally do not think the lid is a frivolity – my coffee is lukewarm. I recently purchased a magnificent stapler for the Business Equipment Room (it’s not much bigger than a closet), and I took a sharpie and wrote all over it – warning my co-workers to leave it in its space. I am ready to roast whomever decided to steal it. It’s been gone for several weeks, and finding the stapler is high on my priority list. It was a lovely stapler – one of those stand-up jobs that hardly take up any space which in a room no bigger than a closet is extremely important. Should I pile my lost things into a giant email? I worry that I don’t have enough to push SEND just yet. Perhaps I will take the afternoon and survey my surroundings for supplies that seem to have been pinched. Yes. A fantastic idea.

Must get up and get going . . .